I'VE MOVED, VISIT ME HERE...

I was wonduring how come nothing works...

Haven't you ever wondered why we're taking ages to finish anything around there, and when we do, it doesn't seem as intended at all? why change is soooo difficult to endorse? I guess now some mystery is finally revealed...I definitely admire Saudi men sense of self-worth, it's quite amazing...equal to but in the opposite direction to Saudi women self esteem...

I love Moroccan food...

I'm lucky because a Moroccan friend of mine cooks us some delicious Moroccoan dishes, the best one for a pasta and bread person like me is "Ragheef", a real delicious type of bread that you can eat with almost anything you desire and still tastes great (not for weight watchers though like most Arabic food), my friend here used my new breadman maker to prepare the dough, saying that this saves three quarters of the efforts and time of preparation. That brought us to the subject of the ease of modern life compared with the old days, when every single home chore took ages and required much efforts from the women of course. maybe that's why many awkward situations were compatible with ones' life, women didn't have time to fight or observe problems, so families of several wives and siblings lived together busy and consumed in daily life demands rather than focusing on frustration and painful situations...My friend asked "Why breadman, why they didn't name it breadwoman, I said maybe the inventor was a man, or maybe men in US help in cooking not like men back home...Anyway man or woman, it sure tastes great and I'm having one delicious meal now...

The Black Sheep...

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."--Robin Williams....It's quite true that those few who act, think and feel different than their family members, their school mates and community members end up with a unique personality, this is the great landmark that the person is thinking outside the box instead of being a follower of the traditional beliefs...Black sheep is essentially the person who seek to find the truth about things rather than take the short cuts...he/ she is not afraid to challenge his/ her thoughts and beliefs...I love my friends M who maybe a black sheep but also a person who challenged me to think outside the box & change my perspectives...I didn't see many as you around, you're a jewel my friend...

Polygamy, the sad story of women fates...

A Big story erupted in USA after the police received a call for help from 16 years old woman, the abused woman claimed she was forced to marry an older man and conceive his child as one of his many wives. The Mormon ranch in Texas was raid by the state police and all the children were taken to state custody. Women appeared on news while fighting for the custody rights of their many children. They appeared sad and monotonous, stereotypes of women I often see back home, all in the same pattern of clothing and obedience. Men were in the police custody for violating the law by committing polygamy. Sara the woman who called the police was never found... This is awkward, because I'm a Muslim, In Islam polygamy is allowed up to 4 wives, a practice usually abused by many men. I have to admit that when married men approached me for marriage I can't help but feel really sick in my stomach. Their attitude although understood due to their own version of what's right and wrong, just outline the basic concept of men domination and women inferiority. A woman side in marriage is usually the weaker side. Her life is controlled by the man and by her children needs, she's expected to deny her needs for the good of the family, which is understood as consisted of the man and kids only while she is excluded, a few nice words would be enough to shut off her rebellion but not a real commitment. Sadly, this coincide with another story from Yemen in which an 8 year old child is forced to marry a 30 years old man, he didn't hesitate to claim his marital rights for a whole 2 months until she was divorced by court... Only if a woman self worth is not based on how lovable she is by a man she can free herself from this vicious cycle of control and domination... It can only be done by allowing women to find life outside the limited and painful arms of men and by laws that reclaim their rights of deciding their own fate away from the good intentions of their male relatives...Polygamy should be monitored by strict laws and not left as an open right for men discretion and abusiveness...

The pen is mightier than the sword???

Now that's confusing, In our Arabic heritage the sword is mightier but there's another version of the truth...Apparently, the ancient civilizations as well as the western literature believes that the pen is mightier, this is a very popular quote that was used heavily everywhere...The fact that the holy book "Quran" affects the lives of millions proves very supportive of the pen, so here goes another myth of the Arabic beliefs...I was thinking that I didn't reach any level of significance despite my time here on Earth, I seem to struggle still with a career path or with identity crisis, perhaps that's why I'm so afraid of admitting that I'm getting older because then I have to be a responsible person for making all kind of decisions, but yet I'm still not so confident about many things...amazingly enough, I was discussing how can we change the corruption in so many levels in our countries with a friend from Jordan, her idea is that the people should be changed first, my idea is that they can't be changed as a whole but we need one leader who can move the mass and creates the waves of change, would that leader come with a pen or would he come with a power (the sword)??....If I believe in the pen superiority, I may accept aging now that I have some potential as a writer after all, but we're just gonna have to wait and see...

Souls are ageless...

I think the fact that I have friends spanning in age from fourteen to fifty five is an indicative that friendship is not limited to any criteria but self demand, surely dealing with mature people may provide logical, predictable and wiser relationships than younger people but I think that there's a fire of enthusiasm in younger people that everyone should keep alive in his/ her soul... Young people are still adventurous about the world and optimistic about what they can get from life, with less complaints about people or about life events than older people, yet older people have this old time wisdom that can be gained only by having enough struggle with life events...In between both of them, I'm hanging somewhere between youthful enthusiasm and mature wisdom without completely acquiring any of each...I don't feel as young or as old as I should be...

الرقيب المحلي

That's it... I think that guy had me in his list and his mind, for the second time in few weeks he bans my article with no explanation whatsoever, I guess both articles don't have anything wrong to promote or say, esp. the one about religious dialect, that's what the world is expecting anyway if you call for a dialogue...hmmm... I'm starting to think that I'm getting important to be censored somehow...it's good that I can still scripple in this private area uncensored...

لا تقتلوا حامل الرسالة

لماذا نتبنى نظرية المؤامرة لتفسير مصداقية أي شخص و إن كان يحدثنا يكل ماهو ظاهر للعيان؟؟... المتأمل لموقف الدكتور محمد القنيبط في مقالاته و في أحاديثه الإعلامية و في نقده لأداء مؤسسات الدولة ورجالها ربما يتفهم كيف اتخذ الدكتور موقف المدافع عن عدم وجود سبب شخصي في انتقاداته بدلا من مناقشتها بصورة موضوعية في حواراته الإعلامية و الصحفية، و الدكتور محمد متهم بترصد و ملاحقة وزارات معينة كالمالية و العمل و وزراء معينين في مقالاته و لقاءاته، وهو في الحقيقة يقدم لنا فرصة ذهبية لن تتكرر كثيرا في بلادنا، فالكثير من المتحدثين في الإعلام و الناقدين لسياسات الأداء في البلاد إما من غير المتخصصين أو من المجتهدين بلا علم حقيقي بخفايا الأمور وواقع الأحوال في مؤسسات الدولة الرسمية، بينما يتحدث الدكتور محمد كرجل علم و دولة مسؤول يحضر المجالس الرسمية على أعلى مستوى كمجلس الشورى و لجنة حقوق الإنسان و حتى الديوان الملكي و هو هنا يعتبر المواطن السعودي شريكا في الرأي و صناعة القرار حتى و إن لم يكن كذلك في واقع الحال، كما يقدم له عبر مقالاته -التي توقف عن كتابتها- والتي لايجد أجرا لائقا لها وعبر لقاءاته الإعلامية خلاصة تجاربه و انطباعاته المستقاة من عمله الرسمي عن سياسات الدولة الفعلية و عن عوائق الأداء الحكومي بما فيها بعض الأشخاص من الوزراء و المسؤولين، و في مجتمعنا الأبوي الذي لازال يبت فيه رأس القوم سواء الوزير أو المسؤول بالنيابة عن بقية الناس و بالرغم عن القوانين و السياسات الموضوعة الكثير من القرارات يبدو أمرا مستغربا للغاية أن يتم تجاهل المعلومات و الانطباعات الهامة التي يقدمها الدكتور، أو التعامل معه كمتحامل والتشكيك في دوافعه من محاوريه بدلا من التعطش المتوقع لتلك الفرصة لإزالة الرؤية الضبايبة التي تغلف التصريحات الرسمية أمام المواطن... وفي نظري فإن مجرد تحلي الدكتور بالشفافية و روح المواطنة بدلا من إيثار السلامة و ترك المركب تسري كغيره من المسؤولين تقدم لي كمراقبة للساحة فكرة ما عن دوافعه، و قد تابعت مقابلة الدكتور مع تركي الدخيل في برنامج إضاءات العام السابق كما تابعت هذا العام مقابلة تلفزيونية مشابهة في قناة الحرة في برنامج حديث الخليج و كلاهما يطرحان نفس الطرح مع اختلاف التوقيت وهو محاولة إثبات سلامة نية الدكتور في نقده لسياسات الاقتصاد و المال والعمل و في نقده لأسلوب عمل الوزراء المسؤولين عنها، وقد تنبأ الكثيرون بعد هذه المقابلات للدكتوربتجريده قريبا من جميع مناصبه، والعجيب أن الدكتور شخصيا تنبأ لنفسه بتلك النهاية عندما نشر مقال اعتزاله الكتابة قبل عام تقريبا و الذي تحدث فيه عن أسلوب القفاز الحريري الذي طلب منه بواسطته عدم تناول مواضيع تخص وزارة المالية و هيئة سوق المال و مؤسسة النقد وهو الاقتصادي المهني المتخصص و رئيس الجمعية السعودية للاقتصاد وهو أيضا ابن لهذا المجتمع الذي يقوم بواجبه في تناول قضاياه و همومه في أوقات يعاني فيها من انهيار سوق الأسهم وابتلاعه لمدخرات و ديون العديد من المواطنين و من ارتفاع معدلات التضخم و البطالة و بطء عجلة الاقتصاد و التنمية كنتيجة للإجراءات البيروقراطية العتيقة، و الأكثر غرابة هو اعتراف القنبيط بمدى اعتزاز القيادات العليا بعمله و إسهاماته و تطلعهم و الذي يماثل تطلعه لوطن تعم فيه الرفاهية حياة المواطن البسيط قبل القادر، و أتذكر الآن المثل الغربي القديم و الذي يعبر عما نفعله بحاملي الأخبار السيئة "لا تقتلوا حامل الرسالة" فهل هذا ما يفعله الآن الوزراء و المسؤولين مع القنبيط؟... إذا اختفى من بيننا مثل هذا الرجل فسيظهر غيره و ربما لن يكون بنفس الأمانة أو الصدق أو الرؤية الاقتصادية بل ربما لا من البيان سوى سحره فيستمع له عامة الناس في كلمة حق يريد بها باطل، فمالمانع من أن يوظف المسؤول النقد الهادف كوسيلة لتحقيق أداء وظيفي أفضل و يحرص على أصحاب الرؤية الناقدة كمصادر للدلالة على كفاءة أداء وزارته في وقت تقوم فيه مؤسسات الدولة في بلاد أخرى بتوزيع أوراق الاستفتاء و تقيم الفعاليات و الأنشطة لتقييم مستوى خدماتها و هناك من بيننا من يقدم للمسؤول تلك الخدمة بالمجان ثم يعاقب عليها، و ربما كانت المسألة أن بقاء المسؤول لدينا في منصبه مرتهن بصورته العامة و علاقاته و مدى نظرة القياديين له كشخص مثالي لا يخطيء و ليس كمسؤول دولة لتنفيذ خطط و أهداف وزارية معينة قد تنجح و قد تواجهها عوائق ما، و ذلك هو ما يؤاخذ عليه الدكتور القنيبط المسؤولين من الوزراء حيث لا يتم التعاون بين وزاراتهم وبين مجلس الشورى على الهدف الذي يحقق أداء أفضل، مذكرا بالهدف من إقامة مجلس الشورى كوسيلة لتقييم و مساءلة و تطوير أجهزة الدولة في أدائها، وهو ينكر أيضا على المجلسين (الشورى و الوزراء) عدم تلاقيهما لأوقات طويلة حيث يعمل الوزراء بمعزل عن الشورى و لا يتعاونون كثيرا معه في مساءلاته و اقتراحاته و أن البيروقراطية تؤخر إنجازات هامة للمجلسين... و التصريحات التي أثارت حفيظة المسؤولين و الإعلام معا عن أداء وزارات الدولة المعنية و التي نرى آثارها في الحياة اليومية لأي مواطن واضحة للجميع، أما لماذا لا تلزم القوانين العامة أحدا من المسؤولين والوزراء بالإجابة عن تساؤلات الشورى أو العودة إليه ولماذا لا توجد إجابة عن قصور الأداء المذكور من كل مسؤول ووزارة فذلك الذي لم يثر حفيظة أحد!!!...

حوار أم حرية؟

أثارت دعوة خادم الحرمين الشريفين الملك عبد الله لإقامة مؤتمر عالمي للحوار بين قيادات و ممثلي الأديان السماوية تستضيفه المملكة العربية السعودية الكثير من ردود الأفعال، و بالرغم من كون تلك الدعوة حدثا غير جديد نظرا لمحاولات المملكة المستمرة -و على الأخص بعد أحداث سبتمبر الشهيرة- توضيح مباديء الإسلام الداعية إلى السلام و نبذ العنف و قيامها ببعض الإصلاحات الهامة في معالجة التطرف الديني إلا أن الكثير من الاحتمالات المتوقعة من عدد كبير من المراقبين تجعل من هذه الدعوة في هذا الوقت بالذات حدثا مشوقا لمتابعته، فالحوار الديني المزمع إقامته يتوقع له المراقبون أن يكون مدخلا لمناقشة الحريات الدينية في المملكة، و تزداد مؤخرا في الصحف العالمية نبرة مطالبة المملكة بإتاحة الفرصة للمقيمين من غير المسلمين بممارسة شعائرهم بكل حرية مما يعني بالضرورة السماح بإقامة أماكن العبادة على الأقل في الأماكن التي يتواجد فيها غير المسلمين - و هي كل مناطق المملكة سوى مكة و المدينة- و السماح لغير المسلمين باستضافة علمائهم الدينيين من خارج البلاد و باتخاذ المظهرالخارجي الذي يناسب اعتقاداتهم، و المؤيدين لهذا التوجه لهم بالطبع عدد من المبررات كتحسين صورة المملكة عالميا كدولة غير متطرفة و تحسين صورة الإسلام العامة كدين يسمح بالتعايش بين الأديان و يحترمها، و التماشي في ذلك مع ما توفره دول الغرب عامة للمسلمين من المقيمين و المواطنين من حرية في ارتداء ما يناسبهم و ممارسة شعائرهم و بناء مدارسهم و مساجدهم، و المتحفظين على مثل تلك الدعوات يقدمون في المقابل أسبابهم لعدم السماح للجاليات الغير مسلمة بحرية دينية -ظاهرة على الأقل- في تخوفهم من الترويج لدعوات غير المسامين و تأثيرهم على عقائد المسلمين في البلاد كما يتعللون بكون الفاتيكان لا يسمح بتعدد الأديان على أرضه مما يقدم نموذجا مشابها للوضع في المملكة، و هو ما يرفضه المطالبون بحرية الأديان في المملكة حيث يحصل المواطن السعودي من خلال التعليم الرسمي السعودي و من خلال برامج الإعلام الدينية على قسط وافر من التعليم و الثقافة الإسلامية مما يجعل من التأثير على عقيدته أمرا بعيد الاحتمال، كما أن الفاتيكان لا يعيش فيه أعداد كبيرة من غير المسيحيين كما هو الحال في المملكة التي يزيد عدد غير المسلمين فيها من المقيمين على بضعة ملايين، و في مواجهة هذه المطالبات لا يمكن بالطبع تجاهل خصوصية المملكة كمهبط للوحي و راعية أساسية للدين الإسلامي مما يجعل موقعها الديني في قلوب المسلمين عظيما بما لا يسمح ربما باتخاذها دورا راعيا ومماثلا لأي دين آخر، و هو أمر قد يجلب عليها تحاملا من غير المتفهمين لطبيعة دورها و مكانتها، و من الناحية السياسية فإن المملكة تصبح هنا بين خيارين إما إرضاء التيار العالمي لحصد المزيد من الدعم و تحسين الصورة العامة وهو ما اختارته العديد من الدول الإسلامية كتركيا مثلا و إما إرضاء التيار المحلي و الإسلامي و الاستمرار في منع الممارسات العلنية للأديان سوى الدين الإسلامي، و ككل القرارات السياسية هناك دائما حل وسط لإرضاء كل الأطراف، فالمحللون لتلك القضية و بالرغم من كونهم غير مقدرين ربما لطبيعة دور المملكة في العالم الإسلامي يطرحون بعض التوصيات الهامة و التي لا تتعارض إطلاقا مع هذا الدور، فلا يوجد عائق مثلا أمام المقيمين من غير المسلمين من ممارسة اعتقاداتهم بداخل محل إقامتهم ولا يوجد سبب أيضا يدعو إلى ملاحقتهم في الأماكن العامة مادام هناك التزام بالآداب العامة للبلاد و هو ما يحدث في غالبية المدن السعودية، وعلى ذلك فالمقيمون في المملكة و عائلاتهم يتمتعون بخصوصيتهم في مقار عملهم و إقامتهم و ممارسة شعائرهم بدون ضغط أو إجبار على اتخاذ دين آخر، و حيث كنت أعمل كان هناك العديد من غير المسلمين من جنسيات آسيوية و غربية يقيمون في مجمعات خاصة بهم لا يفرض عليهم فيها أي رقابة سوى الالتزام بالآداب العامة للبلاد، كما لم يكن مفروضا عليهم في أماكن العمل ارتداء زي معين سوى الزي الرسمي للعمل، و ربما كانت هناك بعض حوادث الاعتداءات اللفظية و غيرها من بعض المتطرفين و لكنها ليست السياسة العامة المتبعة من أجهزة الدولة مما يدعو إلى مراجعة و تحسين أداء الهيئات الدينية العامة العاملة بين أفراد المجتمع كهيئة الأمر بالمعروف في القيام بدعواتها الدينية و مسؤولياتها، بحيث يتم نبذ العنف و تحسين تأهيلهم و أسلوب التواصل مع عموم الناس و إعادة صياغة قوانين الضبط و الأحكام بما يتناسب مع روح الشريعة السمحاء و لا يجلب للسمعة العامة لبلادنا في الأوساط المحلية و العالمية المزيد من النقد و الإساءة ناهيك عن أثره على سمعة الدين الإسلامي، و يطرح المطالبون أيضا دعوات لإدماج أصحاب المذاهب الدينية المختلفة كالشيعة و الإسماعيلية و الصوفيين من أبناء الشعب السعودي في جميع مناصب الدولة الرسمية بلا استثناء و بالأخص في مناصب التعليم و العسكرية و الدبلوماسية الخارجية أسوة بغالبية المواطنين من السنة من شاغلي هذه الوظائف ، و لا جدال هنا أن فتح أبواب المناصب لأصحاب الكفاءات من أبناء هذا الوطن بغض النظر عن مذاهبهم الدينية هو أمر قد يسهم كثيرا في إضفاء الكثير من العدالة في التعامل بين فئات الشعب المختلفة كما يضيف إلى جودة الأداء في مناصب الدولة، و المفترض أن يمثل كل موظف في منصب عام توجهات الدولة و سياساتها العامة و لا يمثل توجهه الفكري أو مذهبه الديني الخاص... ليس هذا هو كل ما تثيره الأقلام عالميا و محليا في موضوع الحرية الدينية ولكنه أفضل ما يمكن تقديمه هنا لإثبات التسامح كمبدأ أساسي في الدين الإسلامي، و بالتأكيد سيكون حوار الأديان القادم خطوة قيادية شجاعة لمناقشة توقعات أصحاب كل ديانة من الأخرى و إبراز أوجه التشابه كما أوجه الاختلاف و الوصول إلى اتفاق عام، كما سيكون أيضا المدخل لمناقشة حرية ممارسة الأديان و الشعائر و تحديا لإبراز دور المملكة في بث مباديء التسامح الديني بدون أن تتخلى عن ثوابتها و مكانتها في العالم الإسلامي...

Treasures of American History

A must see collections of the most valued contributions of US to the world. A wonderful and long forgotten face of US that can balance the awful effects of the current US policies, esp. for a middle Eastern like me... to name a few, Edison Light bulb, Morse-Vail Telegraph Key, Bell Telephone, George Eastman Kodak camera, the first machine that launched the computer industry, ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) , Liotta-Cooley Artificial Heart, Alexander Fleming original Penicillum mold that lead to the antibiotics discovery, Salk Polio Vaccine and Syringe, Cohen Stanley Recombinant DNA Research notebook, Ed Roberts’s Wheelchair, Röntgen X-ray Tube among many other items of famous US figures and times, There was even kirmit the frog, so there was no one left out in recalling the US main historical achievements... In a strange coincidence, a group of commuters using magnificently convenient scooters were listening to their tour guide, they were innovative in the way they choose to commute & it did suit the event too...I did envy them after walking so long among museums and displays...but anyhow, the museum is worth the visit and made me think... why we don't have museums back home? It seems strange that no Ministry of Culture had ever paid attention to this, it could be a great tool to educate children about their country heritage and a way to document valuable historical events and reputable figures, we could be having displays of photographs of ancient times in Arabia (not so far from now), when there weren't much of a country yet, we have a huge variety of dates, a great selection of Arabic sayings & poems, a rich embroidered ancient customs specific of each region, a unique variety of Arabic horses and camels, a delicious cuisine and of course the most valuable Islamic treasures ... The list can extend and go for ever for those with a taste to preserve and value the culture for the next generation, we could even make money for real from local tourism, but for now it's just a dream... ٍٍSami Anqawi, the famous architect and former minister of Hajj institute, spent a good deal of his time and efforts trying to stop the extinguishing of the seven historical mosques (the last I heard there were 3 left) by the government to expand the two holy mosques in Makkah and Madinah, tough luck, he wasn't at all successful, even though he drew the Western media attention.. It seems like somethings can never be changed...

What is Normal??

One of the challenges of globalization is the continuous questioning of traditional beliefs... at many instances, questioning what you perceive as normal might be a good step to realize your errors in thinking and behavior but then it may simply opens the Pandora box...Can a woman turn to a man because she feels like a man? and what if she decided although she's a man now that she wants also to have a baby? I remember my utter surprise to see those few young women and teenagers back home at school and weddings looking like men in complete suits and trying to empower the masculine look by appearing in public with delicate feminine girlfriends... Why would physically normal person chooses the hassle of changing the sex by painful surgeries and strong drugs with all the psychological trauma and confrontation with the extreme societal rejection? that's something a peace- seeker person like me can't comprehend, but in their cases peace may only be reached by sex-conversion... This is not a new phenomenon in human history, as it is well documented in ancient books including Islamic books of well-known judges who made some famous "fatwas"or judgments on those persons according to their physical anatomy, but of course, the area of psychological anatomy of a person poses now the real challenge, with no well known etiologies which distinguish "trans-genders" (i.e. is it a psychological or genetic disease or is it a natural human state?) it becomes quite difficult to provide a rational logic behind their attitudes or suggest a way of dealing with it let alone promote society acceptance...If we start asking what's normal in our own perceptions, can there be a limit for the human ideas and actions?

How did I land in here??

I'm taking this course... It's called medical decision analysis. I have to admit that I'm not a decisive person, so if I ignore the fact that I can't stand the constant deviation from the topic in the class, the professor constant demand for our decisions on his extremely personal questions and a particularly annoying Saudi guy who was placed here -out of all other places on Earth- for a sole reason of testing my patience and self control, I can start to see the point of this..According to a small book called "the manual of life" that I read sometime ago, the events of life that we ran away from or avoid will hunt us over and over in order for us to learn how to deal with them properly instead of avoiding it...So maybe the lesson that I need to learn here is that decisions need to be taken sometimes ahead and not at the spur of the moment as I've used to be doing all my life as I generally react instead of pro act...Maybe I need to learn to enjoy the way things are instead of keeping a critical eye even if we deviates much from the subject...And maybe I need to recognize that there's an inherent defect in most Saudi men caused by their upbringing & culture and that I shouldn't be too shocked to see it happening over and over again...still I don't think I'll learn how to be decisive, life is way too confusing!!!

A Secret to share...

Why people fail to reach the happiness as they conceive it although they work hard for it? because out of the 60,000 thoughts a day that go in their minds, only few thoughts are focused on what they want of life instead of their worries and fears of others or failures. So the secret of happiness as revealed through the ages by the philosophers and lately, in the book of the Australian author "Rhonda Byrne" is simply that "your life course is a result of the quality of your thoughts". This is based on the ancient concept of "the law of attraction" or like attracts the like and applied as well to your life as a member of this world. Suppose you want a successful and rewarding career and you are always thinking about this, all the opportunities of a successful career will be attracted to you, or if you constantly thinking about good qualities people, you'll find them attracted to you and so on. The trick is to "quiet" your mind and get rid of the unnecessary crowd of negative thoughts of annoying people & events, and to focus on good things in people & in your life... Prayers & meditation are among the ways to reach that state of mind blanking. you can keep a log of happy moments in your life to refer to when you are faced with a bad feeling and a negative persistent thought. I have tried using this today, for two hours I managed to shut down a negative event some time but couldn't take it out of my mind, as if the thought has a mind of its own, it kept coming back to me during my errands and I kept pushing it as a physical being...I never thought it was as difficult to "filter" my thoughts. I'm definitely in need of training... now, for the next week I'll have this task "I'll monitor all my thoughts and recognize those which give me a strong feeling good or bad and work on them"...Sounds tough already, but definitely worth a try...

A stranger list of longings...

I've spent some time of my life as a stranger and I have this list which I'll be updating from time to time of the things which caused me to feel like a stranger:
1. Going back home and no one is there to talk to about your days or nights
2. Finding yourself in a waiting time and looking through your phone and not finding someone you can chat with to pass the time
3. Every child face reminds you of your lovely family children whom you terribly miss back home
4. Every weekend or short holiday reminds you that you will be alone and not setting on the table with your family members to chat or sample cooking
5. You have to ask strangers for help because you don't have a family member to carry your stuff, give you a ride or share an errand because you're too busy to do them alone
6. When someone is so straight forward and no more Nice talking or dealing, I really long for our polite culture
7. When you have to listen to ugly words (F..., SH..., D..., etc...) , I remember how musical our words to the ear (May god bless U, May God give u health, ...)
8. When you look to the faces around you and don't find anything in common...

"monkeys grasp the moon"

Group of Monkeys saw the reflection of the moon on a pool of water from their place on a tree branch, they decided to link their arms and legs to form a link to reach what they thought the real moon in the pool, when they touched the image of the moon, the water disrupted and the image faded...the moral of the story is what we strive to achieve may in fact be an illusion...The Sackler museum in Washington D.C. has this beautiful chain hanging down 90 ft. from the skylight at the top of the museum to a reflecting pool on the lowest floor of the gallery. The chain is made of repetitions of the word "monkey" with different international languages as Hindi, Japanese, French, Spanish, Hebrew, English and of course Arabia (The last word at the bottom of the chain)...the words are linked to resemble the monkeys grasp for the moon, this creative idea is originated based on this Old story by the award winning artist Xu Bing, I loved it...I wish I'm not on the wrong track and that not everything I strive to do is in vain, quite scary when you think of it!!!

Ouch!!

My article about Dr. Mohammad Al-qnabit was not published:
they said it touched a "sensitive topic", I quoted his words on National TV, so what sensitive topic? but then he was relieved from all his formal positions, what a waste!!!... this put me in a melancholy state... now I'm roaming the net and I found this blogger "Saudi jeans" for Ahmad Al-Omran, a shite Muslim who studies Pharmacy in Riyadh and who loves wearing Jeans (but he didn't in his posted photo) and blogging his views and opinions, all the ingredients for an upcoming antagonist for our traditional school of thoughts... his blog is excellent, a real joy to read and browse.... it drew much attention and discussed very important topics with a very objective and rational way, I have to say that I'm deeply impressed and I haven't been for some time... now I'm getting in a higher state, I read the impressions left by the blogger on Riyadh book fair and that kept me thinking about the way religion is conceived by the religious police as a way to show dominance and authority rather than to convey virtues, as if others have to be reprimanded... I think my next article will not be published as well, I kind of pressed on this topic... I think I'm getting louder and losing my careful cat approach... what a waste though for Dr. Mohammad, I really wish I could do something for his cause!!!

Ten cents for uncle Sam!!!

It's amazing how difficult it is to get a feel of the identity of the Americans, they are like the melting pot of all the nations, a great mixture of all nations, religions, shapes and attitudes...the English you hear in the Universities or the major cities are some weired derivation of all accents and linguistics, you are not sure how to respond or whether you heard the correct word or not... in the airport of Washington D.C., a Starbucks booth -the coffee shop landmark around the globe- has all-Egyptian employers, I handed the guy the 2 USD price for an Americano coffee, he looked at me and said with his funny Egyptian-English "and 10 cents for Uncle Sam"...now that was funny, he used the right term to identify Tax collector as any Egyption "Uncle Sam"...I just love the wit and sarcastic nature of Egyptians it's indeed their survival tools...I definitely meet non-American more than Americans in here...

Snow!!!!!

Something about my late walks back home through campus is magnificently beautiful and peaceful, tonight it was freezing, in the dark open landscape I didn't see why? until I looked at the street lights across from me...there were millions little tiny snow droplets showering the view... how graceful and pretty... I tried touching them but they were etherical, phantoms without real bodies but conveyed the harsh coolness of the long waited for winter that has finally arrived!!!

How do you like the Americans?

It's a question that I had from our hostess, a reputable professor who invited her two students -I'm not one of them- to dinner in a Mexican restaurant, and since I'm in a good mood since the driving license which didn't disappear yet, I accepted my friend's invitation to go with her to dinner, my friend is one of the students...The professor is so sweet and so as her husband who is also a professor, I kept an eye on him sitting between us the three women and seemed really comfortable, with no traces of boredom or obligations, he ate well and was engaged in conversations and helped his wife with her coat at the end, a real gentleman if I must say, I want one like him!!!... Now, what was I saying???Oh yes..the professor was so sweet, she suggested dinner choices to the foreign students and taught them how to wrap their food as the Mexican way and asked about their families and study arrangement, she looked at me and did the same and asked me if I liked the Americans...Ok you know my answer, I got my driving license here and here I am invited to a dinner by a lovely couple who entertained us as if we were their house guests, Sure, I said, I liked them a lot...they are nice, down to earth and very practical people, I asked them who they elected as president, the husband picked Hillary and the wife picked Obama...so strange!! then the husband said that he didn't think his wife would go after him and pick Obama, he thought she would pick Hillary as well, but he admits that Hillary had a very weak chance because of Bill packages she was carrying, shame on him for doing what he did as a president, he said...then both of them said together that anyone but Bush would be great!!!! I really liked them then!!!

I can Drive!!!

Yeahhhhhh!!!!! I can officially drive....I got my driving license, an official American one....not that I really know the directions or anything yet but still I'm happy, I can move and get my stuff and no more big NOOOOOOOOOOO to women driving, I'm lucky I guess, it's a small victory I wish I can share it with every woman in my country, every one should be able to commute and move safely without restrictions....I got a funny email on the same day of a very old Saudi Driving license [Picture posted], if you are wondering if it's for real, yesssssssssss....it's for real as real as my own small precious little driving license, which I wish I could've post its picture but No, I have to guard it from evil eyes...I was so happy that I decided that I'm not going to let anything disturb this victorious day, a strange thought, as if happiness can be guarded against harm way!!! but hey, why not...It's one of those real rare events where I'm really lucky!!! God bless all the American women and men who made the lives of women after them easier...I wish we could have some of them in my country!!!

Happy valentine's Day

It's a strange coincidence that I started this very day, 14th of February, the famous Valentine's day writing in my blog... In the morning, Beverly, my driving instructor asked me if ever I'm planning to get married or to have kids, I asked him why do you ask-I learn that this is the best answer to undesirable questions- and he said because then you'll have someone to take care of you when you get old...and before I let myself go blue over this, I asked him, what about you Beverly, your kids are grown up men now, do you think they'll take care of you?... he was quiet for a while and replied... I think one of them would, the other probably wouldn't...he himself is not living with his 80 years old mom any more...so I think 30 years from now, I maybe in real trouble...but I pray that I would be in good health until the end and as Beverly said, would always find a nephew or a niece somewhere to help me out if I needed to...a strange topic for a Valentine day indeed!!! but definitely touches on the importance of love and giving between people... how ridiculously we neglect such an important value which may become a real life saver someday... two days ago I discovered this wonderful blog [wanna-b-bride] and it just summarizes all the agony of the ever lasting search for Mr. Right... of course there's a good 50% chance like in any decent probability theory of never finding him...hmmmm...would be good though to actually participate in a Valentine's day instead of watching for a change...